The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package

The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the radiologists could see right through it, and the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The interns thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
 
The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas; and the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
 
In the end, the proctologists left the decision up to the arseholes in Canberra.

 Wise Old Cherokee Woman

For all of us who are married , were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in North Carolina when she saw an elderly Cherokee woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Cherokee woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Cherokee woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Cherokee woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

'Good trade.....'

Irish Dog Funeral

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog
died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the
service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?